Our Family Bed



Yes, you heard right. We have a family bed. Before becoming a mom, I had no clue what type of mom I would be. I never could really picture myself in the "mom" role. I wasn't even sure if I would ever become a mom. Yet I became one. And I was surprised to find out so much about myself.


One of my key motivators in life was self-discovery. I yearned to discover, who I was. So much so, I was even planning on going on a trip around the world, before I got pregnant. But things turned out a little different than expected. Little did I know is how much becoming a mom would bring me closer to myself and who I truly am.


In my journey thus far, I've learned that I'm an intuitive and highly sensitive person. For me certain things started to feel "right" or "off". I started to let my feelings guide me more, instead of my head.


When it came to co-sleeping, it felt like the right thing. I was breastfeeding during the night and it didn't make sense to me to have to stand up every single time my baby woke up. I wasn't convinced that the baby had to only drink every 3 hours otherwise I would somehow spoil him. I breastfed when the demand was here. Sometimes more, sometimes less.

Funny enough I used to be one of those people who thought, parents would never have sex again if they let their kids sleep in their beds. Boy, was I wrong. As we saw how fast we multiplied again.


Having children sleep in our bed is one of the most natural things in the world. For babies and little children, it's where they belong in my book. Of course beg to differ! Everyone has their own approach and in the end there is no right or wrong, except when it comes to your own individuality. And for me this was the right way to go.


Many people tend to be afraid of hurting the baby unconsciously while sleep, which is impossible. I speak from experience, after 2 babies and 0 accidents. It's another thing we have deeply inside of ourselves. There is no way that you don't feel your baby or kid. They tend to hurt you more accidentally by kicking or rolling over, and never the way other way around.


Research shows that by letting our babies and children co-sleep with us cultivates closeness which creates more emotionally balanced grown-ups. Closeness establishes trust and love. We can only love someone if we touch each other as research shows. According to the book, The Continuum Concept by Jean Liedloff, when a child acts out, let the child sleep with you for a while and the issue will subside by it's itself. If you haven't read her book, than please do. It's a jewel for people interested in attachment parenting, which involves baby-wearing, co-sleeping, long-term breastfeeding and gentle parenting.


The most beautiful thing in the world is waking up with them by my side. Never have I regretted letting my kids co-sleep with us. Because of exactly that.


You become automatically more minimalist by sharing the space instead of having their own room that would be full of toys otherwise. Our space is for everyone. In the living room we have all of their toys. That's where we co-live and play together. In the bedroom, we sleep and read books. It's kind of nice to keep things separate like that.


Our goal is to let them decide when they are ready to make that next step of having their own room. We suspect by the time they start with school, it will be definitely one of their wishes to move on.



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© 2020 by inés kelly